It's Cas not Cass
by iCe
Summary: Dean is so done with Sam changing his contacts. It's Cas not Cass, damnit. - / - Or the fic sparked by millions of fangirls vs writers of Supernatural over the years.
1. It's Cas not Cass

This was written in jest. Please take it with a grain of salt.

This started because lately there have been so many people debating over Cas vs Cass in my FB group.

No beta, but concrit is always welcome

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 **It's Cas not Cass**

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"Sam! Stop changing my phone's contacts, it's driving me nuts!" Dean hollered as he aggressively goes through his phonebook into Cas's entry, then mutters angrily about annoying brothers. Dean is so done with Sam messing with his phone. It's Cas not Cass, damnit.

Cas, who was sitting across the table from him, cocked his head to the side in question. Dean shows Castiel his name, which was written as Cass before deleting the extra s. Dean shakes his head when Sam comes in and hands beers for the two of them.

"Dude, I've changed that ages ago and you notice now?" Sam rolls his eyes in exasperation.

"It's Castiel not Cassiel, I dunno where all this extra s is coming from!" Dean was gesticulating widely at his phone and at Castiel.

Sam nodded slowly then grinned at Cas. "Yeah, but I also told you it's not because of that. A lot of languages that use the Latin alphabet kinda use single s and the double s to indicate a difference in pronunciation."

"Like a soft s and a hard z sound," Cas contributes, leaning forward. "It's the difference between 'desert' and 'dessert.' English has lost this nuance through time so sometimes the singular s can be pronounced as a z even if the position demands an s, but a double s is almost always pronounced as a soft s."

"Cas, you're supposed to take my side," Dean says shooting Cas a betrayed look. He dropped his phone on top of the book that he'd been reading for the case before this entire debate started and opened the beer Sam had given. "I'm just saying, we're in America, we speak English."

Sam looked like he was holding in his laughter and barely managed to put his beer down before he could fall ungainly onto his chair and clutch his sides. "Yeah, Dean, because American English obviously has superior phonetics. I just realise this is the reason we usually take the Latin. And why there are a lot of commonly mispronounced English words of the s variety."

"Excuse you." Dean was offended. He spoke Latin perfectly – passably, who cares? It got the job done. "It's Cas-tielnot Cas-siel, why would I give my best bud the nickname of some other angel? Wait, that is another angel right? You're not hoarding all the Cas names?"

Cas had a small smile of amusement on his face when he found the question directed at him. "I do have a brother named Cassiel." Cas took the pad he'd been taking notes for his research and flipped it onto a new page, writing קפציאל followed by כצפיל as well as two Enochian words.

"The first human inscription of our names is similar so I understand the confusion in the transliteration. The Enochian is more accurate in this regard since I am 'God's Shield' and he is 'The Speed of God.'" He showed the brothers what he'd written in his blocky script, which had immediately stopped Sam's laughter and switched from annoying brother to geeky fanboy.

"They'd still both be Cass," Sam pointed out when he gave back the notepad to Cas. "It's not mutually exclusive."

"Mutually exclusive my ass." Dean grumbled and Sam guffawed again.

"Yeah, I'd say," Sam snorted out in between laughter. Dean did not understand the joke.

"Sam," Cas said sternly, there was a warning in his voice. "You shouldn't tease Dean so."

"Yeah, Sam," Dean mimics.

"The double s still looks way cooler," Sam insists, "and the dictionary in Word doesn't accept Cas but accepts Cass."

"Oh yeah, because Microsoft is the authority. Let's see if you like the extra m in your name Samuel," Dean argues.

Sam gave Dean a look showing that he was not impressed with the argument. "Totally different rules, man."

"Uh," Cas interjects and the brothers swivels towards him. He winces. "It's actually quite similar. Sam doesn't have a double m but Sammy does."

Sam shook his head emphatically. "No, no, those are arguments for shortening the name that has the I-E sound in the end, like Bob and Bobby, John and Johnny, or Cas and Cassie so the rules are different. I can't be a Samm." He said the last part by exaggerating the length of the m in his name.

Castiel chuckled but was nodding his head in agreement so Dean gave them a glare worthy of a petulant high school girl. Cas ended his amusement with a small cough before saying, "Ahh then maybe this one then: British English use s for words that Americans would use a z for. Words like analyse, realise are spelled with s there, but Americans tend to go with the phonetics and use a z. So someone, not knowing me, might read Cas as 'Caz' if they see the single letter."

"We're in America, we don't make simple things over complicated! It's a z when it sounds like a z and an s when it hisses! And it's my goddamn phone! Who's gonna read Cas as 'Caz' using my phone?" Dean snapped before he took a calming breath. It shouldn't really matter but he was so annoyed over it. Still, it wasn't his name and if Cas wanted Cass, he would suck it up. "So what do you think, Cas? Which one do you like better?"

A crease appeared between Castiel's eyebrows as he gave the question more deliberation than Dean thought it deserved. "I am an Angel of the Lord, Dean, I do not have preference between pronunciation or the written word. It is like asking what accent I like better. I was Katzpiel before I ever became Castiel, I am sure it will evolve again as language inevitably does through time. You should use what you are comfortable with, as I do not have an attachment to either form."

Dean hadn't thought of that. He'll forever be Dean Winchester and even if someone sorely mispronounces his name, he'll point them in the right direction. His identity is connected with his name, so he'll probably not answer to something else. Maybe he won't even know that his name was being called if they change it so much. But Castiel being both immortal and someone that receives prayer can't go flitting about random people praying and correctingthem over some silly thing.

"But I do like the fact that this is the first time someone has cared enough to give me a shortened version of my name," Cas amends, "and to care enough for what it looks like in paper."

Dean's ears reddened considerably at the statement. He didn't even know why.

"Awwwww, Cas!" Sam jumps up and pulls Dean and Cas together. "Group hug!"

"SAAAAM!"

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 **Bonus Scene:**

BONUS: once Dean wanders off, Sam goes to Cas.

Sam: I'm still right though, yes? Yes?

Cas: I'm not getting in the middle of this.

Sam: Doesn't make me wrong!

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 **Author's Note:**

Everybody has been fighting over this lately and I laughed my head off. Really. People are so passionate about fanfiction. If you want to talk about it further in the comments, be my guest. But please respect everyone's opinions.

Anywhoo, English is not my first language. Therefore, I resonate strongly with Cas in this (plus if you have grammar advise and if you think my tenses switch too much give me a holler. I'm very receptive).

Also I'm not against American phonetics, I'm just amused that people think it's the only way to be correct.

Because I'm ESL I researched the following:

S vs SS in the English language, if you're interested in the links head over to my AO3 account cuz theres no linking out here.

And my very old research on Cassiel vs Castiel (Taken from my old Big Bang research):br /

Research of the transliteration of Cassiel versus Castiel (I largely believe kaphtziel's blogspot because a) it's not fandom related, b) it was posted in December 2004, where Supernatural could not have colored it at all and c) they cite reference... if you really want that meta and are fond of research go and peruse it.)

So there, Castiel and Cassiel are two different angels. During the transliteration of Castiel (Katzpiel, etc) scholars stumbled along the way and merged him with Cassiel (Kaphziel, Quafsiel, Kafziel, Casziel, Casiel). Transliteration means going from the Hebrew alphabet: ' קפציאל ' to the Roman letters 'Cassiel' as opposed to translate which goes like: love = amour = ai which can all be Romanized.

As an aside, I only googled the hebrew transliteration of Castiel so if anyone knows better give me a holler. Because I know Cassiel's Hebrew is קפציאל due of research but I can't find Castiel's because it gets buried in Supernatural references instead of Kabbalah references.

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Additional information.  
I also looked up the YouTube upload of Misha Collin's FB live on Cas vs Cass after the fandom imploded  
(Shows script of Cass, as well as on the pronounciation)  
And Erik Kripke tweets **I think "Cass" just looks cooler on the page. And "Cas" might sound like "Caz." But that's just my opinion. Now get back to work.**

 **Other notable facts:**  
We see Dean's Cellphone in a couple of shots in Supernatural.  
Castiel's entry is Castiel in Episode 11.04 (Baby)  
This entry changes to Cass in Episode 12.07 (Rock Never Dies)

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 **Disclaimer:** Supernatural is property of WarnerBrothers and the CW, and is the brainchild of Erik Kripke. All use of the characters from the series is unauthorised. I am merely borrowing them for a time, and will return them promptly.


	2. Ssam is not the same as Sam

"Dean!" Sam fumed barging into the garage while Dean was giving the finishing touches to the waxing of the Impala. The gigantor was waving his phone around in the air making unintelligible noises that Dean assumed were sounds of protest. He must have found the phone owner's info and was not pleased with the result. "Why are you so childish?"

Dean chuckled, wiping his hands and getting a good look at the phone. "Oh, _I'm_ the childish one? Who was it that changed my phone contacts for Cas's name again?"

"It doesn't mean you could give my name an extra s! Sssam doesn't even make sense!" Sam seethed twiddling around with his phone settings and trying to reverse the damage done.

"The extra s doesn't make sense, does it?" Dean repeated rolling his eyes before he gave a pat to the Impala as a goodbye, entering the bunker to search for a snack. Sam was not far behind, still muttering occasionally about how irrational Dean was. There may have been a few more slights to the older Winchester's character, but Dean was well versed at tuning Sam out when he ranted about things like vegetables, music, and apparently extra s-es in names.

Sam continued to talk about the now very worn argument of phonetics cycling back to pronunciation rules when they entered the kitchen. They found Cas there, putting away groceries. The angel turned to look at them when they came in but froze midway when he heard what Sam was ranting about. Cas abruptly made an about face to try and exit but Dean beats him to it by hooking his index finger in the collar of Cas's coat. "Nope, you're staying with me when he's all - bleh" Dean finishes gesturing vaguely at Sam.

"I see," Cas intoned slowly before letting out a sigh. "I had thought we already talked about this. The last time was rather - exhaustive, as I recall."

"Dean was messing with my phone!" Sam argued again motioning to his phone and showing the extra s in front of his name. Dean noted the crinkle in Cas's eyes when the angel dutifully reads off the screen followed by patient appeasing noises.

"If I recall, the reason why we're having this conversation was because you 'messed with' Dean's phone first," Cas pointed out diplomatically, glaring at Dean when Sam wasn't looking. What? The angel should have expected Dean to retaliate. This was practically the set up of the last Prank War. "I'm sure if you stopped changing my name in his phone, he'd stop attempting to spell your name in parseltongue."

"Look at you dropping Harry Potter references," Dean praised giving Cas a thumbs up while rummaging through the fridge for the makings of a sandwich.

"But Cas! You know I'm right!" Sam answered, stubbornly crossing his arms in determination.

"Can we just settle that it's a commonly misspelled word and leave it at that?" Castiel pleaded at Sam.

"Hey wait a minute!" Dean butts in, slapping the ham onto his sandwich and pointing the cheese at Cas. "It's not a misspelling. I dubbed you Cas, therefore I spell Cas, therefore I have the correct spelling! I am the _authority_."

Sam slaps his palm over his forehead. "I'm sure Chuck would have a field day with that. 'I dubbed you Cas,'" he mimicked obnoxiously.

"And I don't like Cass!" Dean hissed the last s to emphasise its length as a double consonant. "It rhymes with ass."

"Oh, grow up, Dean," Sam groused, shooting an apologetic look at Castiel before continuing, "by your reasoning Cas and Cass both rhyme with ass regardless of how it's spelled."

"Cass is a girl's name and Cas is not," Dean fired back, still exaggerating his s sounds to differentiate the two spellings.

Sam blinks. There was a pregnant pause while they all took in that confusing statement before Cas said, "I'm actually a celestial wavelength of intent. Biologically, wavelengths do not have genders but I do identify as male. Right now. In this vessel."

It was Dean's turn to blink. Sam scrunches his face in an effort to understand how the conversation got away with them, but then Sam gets second wind. "Cas is genderless therefore the gender argument - even though absurdly attributing the extra letter for sex is ridiculous - is invalid."

"He just said he's a dude!" Dean protests finishing up his sandwich and then taking a huge bite out of it.

"It isn't a gender debate!"

By now, Cas was shifting from foot to foot and looking at the two brothers uneasily. "Guys, it's an extra letter. Please, you don't need to fight over it. You can't even distinguish the z pronunciation with the s sometimes if you want to pronounce it as Kaz. The French pronounce it Kaz sometimes... well Balthazar didn't but he wasn't French he just spent a lot of time in France when they were -"

"Sam was just being a little bitch," Dean interrupted Cas gently. Which was quite an inhuman feat between swallowing that humongous bite, listening to Cas rant, and glaring at Sam. "No need to get upset over it."

 _Jerk_! Sam mouthed at Dean. Dean flipped Sam off as he handed Cas the extra sandwich he made. Sam cleared his throat before saying. "Yeah, Cas. You know we like messing with each other. No need to take it seriously."

"Truce?" Cas asked sitting down and taking the sandwich. Dean promptly made another one and handed it to Sam as a peace offering. Sam hesitated but took it and eats nodded along to the proposed truce.

Dean grinned. Wait until Sam realised Dean changed everything he could get his hands on. _Including_ Sam's main gmail account.

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I have no idea why this argument continues on ad infinitum, [no I lied, it's because everyone in the fandom likes arguing about their passions] but intermittently my friend Audrey and I talk about it and chapters like these are born

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 **Disclaimer:** Supernatural is property of WarnerBrothers and the CW, and is the brainchild of Erik Kripke. All use of the characters from the series is unauthorised. I am merely borrowing them for a time, and will return them promptly.


	3. What's Your Name?

Castiel usually sits out going to dive bars, but Dean wanted both beer and company, so dive bar it is.

The bar was noisy at this time of night and packed with people trying to drown their sorrows or celebrate. Cas is firmly in the people watching department, not liking inebriation unless drastic times call for it.

Dean left him to secure the pool table when a redhead slides in next to him at the table and hands him a shot of whiskey.

Startled Cas cocks his head to the side and looks at the drink like it had magically appeared in front of him. "I didn't order this."

"Don't you like whiskey? I could get something else." The woman's smile is flirtatious as she settles a hand over his.

Castiel doesn't have experience with this type of situation so naturally, he utters, "Uh…"

"What's your name?" She asks, flagging down a waitress, presumably to order another set of drinks."I'm Lorraine."

The angel straightens in his seat as Lorraine leans towards him, the shot of whiskey ignored and no waitresses are coming to the rescue. "Castiel, " he replies, wondering what was taking Dean so long with the pool table.

Lorraine pauses, processing that for a moment before asking, "Could I call you Cas?"

Another woman arrives and slings her arm around Lorraine, remaining standing she grins at them wide-eyed. "You're named Cath? Isn't that short for Catherine, Cathy? Were your parent's hippies?"

"Good God, Mandy, " Lorraine mutters, shrugging out of the arm. "He's Cas."

"Well _you're_ sensitive," Mandy gripes. This abruptly reaches Castiel's threshold for nonsense.

Castiel cleared his throat once, forcing the two women to focus on him. "It's Castiel. The -tiel isn't silent."

Before either woman could react to this statement, Dean swoops in, drops two bottles of beer on the table, claps Castiel on his shoulder (which earns Dean a look of consternation from Cas) and drags a stool from an adjoining table to squeeze in between Lorraine and Cas. "Hey, all pool tables're full. Got you beers to make up for it tho."

Cas nods his thanks and takes a swing of his beer before gesturing to the two women. "This is Lorraine and her friend, Mandy. They were just—"

"Leaving!" Lorraine finishes the statement abruptly, standing and ushering her friend out of the table. "We were just keeping your man company seeing as you left him by his lonesome."

Dean doesn't correct their misconception and takes it with the same nonchalance as when he gets mistaken for a couple with his brother. The hunter salutes both women them with his beer bottle as they left the table before breaking out into a guffaw when they were out of hearing range. "Well you're popular," the hunter comments when he regards the angel again.

"Your misguided opinion is false," Cas scoffs. He takes a sip of the cold beer, squinting his eyes to look at Dean properly. "False, but cute."

"Awww, I'm not cute; I'm adorable." Dean does a blue steel which causes Cas to break out into a smile. "That's better. Sorry, I took too long. No tables available, but I saw your problem and got you a beer instead."

"I could have handled myself," Cas mutters despite the smile. "I did _not_ need saving."

"Saving you? Oh no! I was saving _them,"_ Dean protests. "You looked like you're gonna go on a smiting spree."

"You're incorrigible."

"I thought we already decided that I was adorable?" There was a beat of silence. "So the -tiel isn't silent, huh?"

Castiel rolls his eyes. "For them it isn't."

"For the record, I'm still calling you Cas though," Dean insists.

Castiel shakes his head, hiding his smile behind the bottle of beer. "Of course, Dean."


End file.
